you deserve to bloom without the clouds
of my shapeless needs looming over you.
You deserve to feel proud
of every choice you made
to become the person you are now.
You deserve to love and be loved
as much as you are able
in this split-second wrenching stay.
And I’m sorry for all the ways
my empty spaces have made that difficult.
I, too, deserve to unfurl
without becoming lost in greed
for things not meant to be mine,
or hiding from who
I was created to be.
I deserve to spread the light
this massive heart is capable of
over the whole world,
not chain it in bed
with a desperate green monster,
convinced his are the only eyes
in which connection lives.
I deserve to feel whole,
to know jealousy is an admiration
for who I am one day meant to be.
Or at worst, a fear that only
in being other than myself
could I be enough.
The path to healing is steep
and the cobblestones make it tricky
to walk alone.
Will you hold and be held
as we forgive ourselves and rebuild?
Will you walk beside me through this life?
as we teach each other
what love requires
and the bliss of being held.